Therapy Thursday – Conflict

Conflict is inevitable. Choosing to learn from the experience is optional.

Session 12: After the Storm

Afterwards.  After the harsh words have been exchanged, hurtful comments made and barbs thrown (often from both sides, but maybe not).  Now what?

If you’re wise, you’ll reflect.

Of course, if you had stopped to reflect earlier… 

In conflict, there are generally 4 points to consider beyond the actual conflict:

Antecedent, analysis, reaction, and consequence

Let’s unpack what happened, and while we do, notice all the “stopping points” along the way where you missed an opportunity for things to unfold differently… and better.

 

Antecedent:

What happened leading up to the conflict?

Were there minor annoyances that should have been addressed that were instead swept under the carpet until everything coalesced into a fiasco?

Analysis:

What was each parties perception of what happened?

Each party usually thinks they are right. Could you have found middle ground before the argument escalated?

Reaction:

How did each party respond?

Do you wish you had responded differently?  Can you use that regret as a starting point to re-engage in civil and productive conversation to resolve the conflict?

Consequence: 

What was the outcome? Is the outcome something both parties wanted and are satisfied with?

Begin again, with love and kindness.

Your relationship is worth it.

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