It’s a small town, and it’s a small world. So when you tell lies, even “little white lies”, you’re bound to be found out. Why you told the lie and how you respond can say a lot about you. However, it doesn’t have to define you. Fortunately, every moment is an opportunity to redeem ourselves and our credibility and character. I received a picture with the attached text message:
Friend 1: “Does that look like (unnamed friend) to you?”
Me: “Yes, that’s totally (unnamed friend), why?”
No response from Friend 1
Me: “Hello?”
Friend 1: “I was looking on Match under a diff name and saw him. He put he was 51.”
Me: “Liar, liar, pants on fire (cry-laugh emoji) he wishes he was only 51.”
Friend 1: “I know. I was like what”
The text string left me concerned and I was stymied about what to do. In reality, my friend is in his early 70’s (though he certainly does NOT look it) and he is someone I’ve known for almost three decades. Many moons ago, he helped me through a tough time and I’ve always known him to be honest and forthcoming. I wrestled with whether or not I should I call him out on his lie. I wanted to encourage him to be honest about his age because I don’t believe that you can build any sort of strong or long-lasting relationship when the foundation is based on a lie.
Some people who would say that “It’s none of your business” or “Why did you feel like you needed to ‘do’ anything?”, however what I expect of myself as a friend called for more. I hope that my friends care enough to tell me if they ever believed I was doing something that compromised my integrity.
So, I reached out to my friend. He didn’t respond well…
While he didn’t respond TERRIBLY, I was less than impressed with his response overall. And I was very disappointed in his behavior and overall handling of the matter. Clearly, he was equally unhappy with me, too, because he “unfriended” me on Facebook. So… that went well.
There’s more that transpired afterwards, and we’ve since “mended” our friendship, but what are your initial thoughts? How do you feel about someone lying about their age – would you date them? How do you respond when you see someone you care about acting dishonestly? At what point do you consider a friend to have “crossed the line”? Would you have called out your friend? Has anyone ever “called you out” for bad behavior/dishonesty, etc.? Tell me your stories!
