Mary & Martha
38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one.[f] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
I often fall back on this scripture when I need to remind myself about what my priorities are (and what they should be).
For me, it comes down to prioritizing whether we should be “doing” or whether we should be… “being”.
I’ll explain this in as relatable a manner as possible…
Let’s say a friend stops over unexpectedly. Your house is in a bit of disarray.
How will you spend the time they are with you?
Tidying up while you chat with them?
OR
Being fully present and giving them all your attention?
I’ll throw myself on my own sword and admit that this is an area where I have struggled for a long time. I’m better than I used to be, but I still struggle with this, so this Faith Focus is as much a reminder for me of what my priorities SHOULD be, as it is something for you to consider as you navigate through your own relationships.
I grew up in an environment where appearances were very important, so when I went out into the world, I had some unhealthy preconceived notions about “appearance” over “presence”.
Fortunately, I am blessed to be surrounded by amazing friends who continuously remind me of what is really important- our relationships. These are the friends who repeatedly tell me that when they stop over to visit, they don’t care whether or not there are crumbs on my counter or if my stairs were recently vacuumed.
I can’t tell you the number of times I have heard a variation of “I’m here to be with you… to talk with YOU, not to judge how clean your counters are or if there are dirty dishes in your sink.”
And in return for their unconditional love, these beloved friends get the gift of my authenticity- complete with frank conversation, unveiled emotions, plenty of candor and even more camaraderie. No facades.
Because, here’s the thing: At the end of day (and the end of my life), I will not regret unfolded laundry and paper-laden desks as much as I will bemoan unspoken affirmations and quality time spent with people I love and cherish…..
I want to continue to remember that my relationships take precedence over all the other “stuff”.
However, I have digressed… so, back to the scripture…
I believe this scripture wants us to draw our attention to the priorities of Martha & Mary.
Martha was focusing on creating a pleasant environment and meal for Christ and his disciples.
Mary’s priority was being in fellowship and community with Christ- making Jesus and his word, will & way the highest priority.
I am not suggesting that Martha’s efforts at hospitality were unimportant. Her hospitality was, in part, a reflection of her love and honor for Christ. However, the scripture calls on us to focus on BEING with Christ, not DOING. There’s a lot I could say about this, and I would probably upset theologians by getting it (unintentionally) wrong, so I’ll stop here.
I’ll close with this:
BE with the people you love. Spend time with them- in community, conversation and care.
Most relationships start on a foundation of what I call the “confidence of caring”…
When we know someone will show up for us, just their mere presence is a gift to us in times of trouble, even if they can’t “fix” our situation.
And to all the people that have shown up in my life and just been present to support me in hard times- THANK YOU.
Your presence has meant more than you will ever know.
XOXO, Sheli
3 Comments
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This lesson about being present is important and one that I believe many people struggle with. I work hard to be fully present to people who stop by my desk and not be distracted by pressing work. They are right there giving me their time. Most rewarding is taking time to check in on elderly ladies I know and chatting with them by phone. I receive that blessing while I know they feel the same. Thank-you Sheli for poignantly putting this lesson into words.
I love this post. I read that scripture as a child and try to apply it as you do. As a child my mo would do dishes after holiday meals whiles every one was there. When I took over the holiday meals I would leave the dishes till the next day. I felt that it was more important to be with my guests than to have a clean kitchen. I feel like this approach has let me connect with others.
I am a doer and just being focused on The lord is a task that I strive for. Thank you for this wonderful post. I look forward to your upcoming posts.